August 25th
You left me on this day in 2009
It was an equally spectacular one to this
with a stunning blue sky and the brightest of sunshine
and a slight breeze making it not too hot for a
southern California day in late August
It was no surprise at all that you chose a beautiful day
for your journey
You held my hand for so many years
through so many things
yet in your suffering I held yours for merely four
So brief those years seem to me now
Yet how long they must have
seemed to you
Short or long the time was never wasted on us
And when I held your hand for the
very last time I whispered
Mom, if you can hear me, I’m here
Then just like always you waited for me to leave first before
you would go
And though you were indeed finally ready for us to part
I was not
Layovers and Divorces
I woke up and found them all over the walls
the certificates from dance recitals
the award for public speaking
the high school diploma
Shifting my weight to the left and lying on my side now
more awards on a shelf to the right of the dresser
entered my view
first place soccer champions
first place cheerleader competition
all strategically placed
and from my vantage point, without a trace of dust
In this friend’s spare room, the melancholia in
my stomach met my own children’s childhoods
their hard work and accomplishments,
the first places and the times I told them it was
okay to come in second
and I watched the oozing bile seep slowly out
from behind each wooden plaque and tarnished trophy,
embedded in the viscous mass the unpaired eyeballs
there only to judge me,
the serene powder blue walls grieving
for the life I’d had building rooms such as this
Despite my paralysis my fingertips
felt the edges of cardboard boxes at home
in my garage filled with ceramic flowers made in
kindergarten and accolades and great jobs!
not hanging on the walls of the home I failed
to keep together
yet holding memories no less permanent
than the ones in this unfamiliar space
Slow motion lifted me off the bed
and I replaced the turquoise quilt as perfectly
as I’d found it, trusting the remnant of my tears
left on the pillow would
dry before anyone would notice,
then with my thoughts began my descent down
the stairs
hoping the only one my friend would detect
was that I had a plane to catch
“August 25th” and “Layovers and Divorces” first appeared in A Slow Dance in Memoriam and Other Poems.
Wanda Penalver Bevan was born in Ithaca, New York. A graduate of Northwestern University, she’s worked as an actress, paralegal, and hospitality manager. In addition to two screenplays, she’s the songwriter of “Little Girl” (2012), a tribute to the youngest victim of the 2011 Tucson shooting, and her poem “America’s Child” is on display at the Oklahoma City National Memorial honoring those who lost their lives in the Murrah Federal Building bombing in 1995. In 2016, she published her first novel, Their Souls Met in Wishton. Her second book, A Slow Dance in Memoriam and Other Poems (2022), is her first poetry collection. Learn more about her at Wandaswayiswrite.com.
Sparks of Calliope 